Fifty-Six Years of Darkness

[Sinead O’Connor. Unknown date. Photo: Google Search.]

This is probably the shortest blog I have or will ever post…

I was propped up in bed on a warm afternoon. It was July 26, 2023. My iPhone was in my left hand and I making a stab at the New York Times crossword. It was a Wednesday and all Times crossword solvers know that as the week progresses, the puzzles get harder.

That has always pained me.

I had just returned from a doctor’s appointment where I needed to have a blood draw. I hate needles.

They have always pained me.

Mariam was in the living room doing something on her iPhone. She called out to me:

“Sinead O’Connor died.”

I sat up. It wasn’t a 9/11 moment, but it did shock me. I immediately put my phone down and began to think of where I had stored my two Sinead CD’s. I’d never find them. But I had Spotify so there was no search necessary.

I had always been a fan of sorts of this Irish singer. When she was winning Grammy’s I began to buy her music. But that was years ago. Her importance to me had waned. In the next few hours all this was going to change.

Anderson Cooper’s comments on his CNN slot at 8:00 pm brought me to tears. This death in London was to unfold slowly over the next few days. It still is. I was hearing people, commenters and such, speak of the song that put her on the map…and put her into millions of peoples hearts. It was written by Prince:

Nothing Compares 2 U

I told Alexa to play it. I listened and it began to come back to me. It moved me once and it moved me on the 26th…and it has been in my mind for days.

Hence this blog.

Since that day, I’ve been listening and reading about her. The facts are out there. But what stood out in its tragic importance was the suicide of her son last year. Her tweet, posted a few days before her death, read, in part:

“Been living as undead night creature since”…”He was the only person who ever loved me unconditionally…”

My first thought after reading her tweet, was everyone on the planet deserves to be loved unconditionally.

I Googled her lyrics:

In “Love Hurts”, she sings:

“Love hurts, love scars, love wounds and mars…””Love hurts, love scars, love wounds and mars…”

I could go on but I think you know where this is heading.

But not before I make a personal note. The New York Times obituary two days ago depicted Kris Kristofferson with his arm around her. The obit went on:

“At the 30th Anniversary Celebration of Bob Dylan at Madison Square Garden in 1992, (two weeks after she tore the photo of the Pope in two dozen pieces), she was loudly booed and hurried off the stage”. (These were the approximate words of the obit writer.) Well, to set the record straight, I was at that concert that night with my daughter, Erin. She and I both saw and heard what really happened.

~She was not loudly booed. It was, to our ears, an equal mix of cheers and boos. That is a big difference.

~She was not hurried off the stage. She stood for several long minutes waiting for the crowd to quiet. She was scheduled to sing “I Believe in You”. She then pulled out her ears buds and recited a Bob Marley song. Kristofferson (who was one of the emcees) came over and whispered something in her ear. They left the stage together. Slowly.

It was a sublime moment.

The whole story of her life is one of pain and loneliness. She was abused by the Catholic nuns in Ireland, and suffered a lifetime of losses that would break any heart. Looking at the title of this post, I realize that I overstate the shadows of her life. She was fifty-six years old at her death. But there were, clearly, moments of great joy. The birth of her son and her life with him was such a time.

I am so sad for her and for our losing her. Her voice was pure as a crystal and as dark as night. She sang her rage and her agony and her broken heart.

Good-bye, Sinead, and thank you. Find peace somewhere…if you can.

I am going to load my Spotify with her music and I will weep while listening to her bleeding emotion.

Because Nothing Compares to her.

[I guess this really isn’t the shortest post I’ve written.]

Heart of Glass

Don’t tell me the moon is shining; show me the glint of light on broken glass.

~~Anton Chekhov

[Our glass horse from Murano, Italy. Photo is mine.]

Sometime in the ancient distant foggy and shadowy history of human existence, someone discovered how to make glass. This is thought to have occurred around 4,000 years ago. I don’t have the month or day, but I’ll check on that and get back to you later. This happened, of course in Mesopotamia, in the land between the Tigris and Euphrates Rivers. (Interestingly, the fabled location of the Garden of Eden, but that’s for another story.) It was here that the earliest evidence of proper glass making is found. I’ve often wondered how these things happen. How did a civilization have individuals that found out that by melting sand one can make a substance as fascinating as glass? It truly boggles the mind. At least my mind.

When I was a child, my parents drove from Owego to Corning, NY. This was the home of the Corning Glass Works. I sat with eyes wide from amazement while the glassblowers performed for the crowd. Their cheeks would inflate like Louis Armstrong as they blew through the Blowpipe into a glob of molten silica, soda ash and lime to produce astounding pieces of art. It awed me then and it amazes me now, still.

On a recent trip to Europe, I finally got to visit Italy. We stayed several days in Venice, a city I could probably write a book about. It is an awesome place by any standards. One of Mariam’s goals was to visit an island about forty-five minutes from St. Mark’s Piazza. We were going to Murano. I confess I didn’t know the significance that this tiny island has in the world of art glass. Stepping off the small boat we were escorted into a hall about the size of a high school gym, maybe a bit smaller. There I sat, again transfixed like my old child self, and watched something almost miraculous occur. A glob of melted sand was being heated to about 3,000℉ (when the furnace was open, I could feel the heat from thirty feet away) and slowly transformed into a horse, on its hind legs, rearing up like Trigger. I saw it all with my own two eyes. How did this craftsman do this? I looked at his hands for burn scars. Nothing. We bought one or two pieces in the gift shop. It sits in our apartment, on a sturdy bookcase. I can see it as I write this. I wanted to name him (I assume its a him but it really doesn’t matter) Lucifer. Not for any religious reason except for the fact that he was born and formed in the hottest furnace I’ve ever been near. Born of fire. Please don’t bring up The Game of Thrones…”A Song of Fire and Ice”…it’s not a reference I care to pursue.

[A recently completed bowl in the glassblowers shop. Murano. Photo is mine.]

[The glass maker’s very pure silica sand. Photo is mine.]

On the boat ride back to Venice, I found myself thinking of glass and my interest in its nature. As a long-time Earth Science teacher, I knew that glass can occur in nature. But, you may well ask, can nature achieve the necessary high temperatures? Volcanoes? No way. Molten lava has a temperature range of 700℉ to 1,200℉, almost cold enough to handle. That was a joke. Don’t try that without an adult nearby!

So where in nature can silica (sand) melt? Well, on a beach. On a beach when lightening strikes. The heat will fuse the quartz sand into globules called fulgurite. That is a bit oversimplified but for this blogs purpose, let’s go with it. This is not to be confused with “Beach Glass”. That is merely a product of some ya-hoo’s discarded broken bottle of Pabst Blue Ribbon that has been tumbled by the sand and surf for awhile.

I also recall visiting The Old Manse in Concord, MA near the North Bridge. It was the home of Ralph Waldo Emerson, built by his grandfather, Rev. William Emerson. Hawthorn and other Transcendentalists often gathered there to hold lofty discussions about philosophy and religion. You know, like a dated version of Starbucks. When newlyweds Nathanial Hawthorn and his wife, Sophia lived there, they would etch poems onto a window or two. These are still visible today.

[A Hawthorn poem on a window in the Old Manse. Photo is copyrighted by Alamy.]

One of the poems:

Man’s accidents are God’s purposes.

The smallest twig leans clear against the sky.

~~Sophia Hawthorn, 1843

All very lovely and poignant, I must say. I stood in the room with the window shown in the photo. I studied the etchings. I felt the glass (when the guard wasn’t looking). I was seeking the ripples at the bottom. I had read or heard somewhere that glass is not really a solid, rather a very slowly moving liquid. Sorry, but that, I found out, is an Urban Legend.

I’ll end here with another short quote. It’s an oblique reference to glass:

Just tonight I stood before the tavern

Nothing seemed the way it used to be

In the glass I saw a strange reflection

Was that lonely person really me?

~~”Those Were The Days” by Gene Raskin

A reflection? A mirror. Now I have something more to think about…

{Note: Most of the facts presented here are from a Goggle search.}

My AI Birthday Wish to My Son

Sometimes when I need a miracle, I look into my son’s eyes, and realize I’ve already created one.

–Anon

What follows is an AI generated birthday wish for my son, Brian. I fed suggestions into ChatGBT that included Ireland and his future projects. I have edited it slightly to eliminate places in Ireland he has not visited yet.

Brian, this is for you from a non-human source:

Dear Brian,

On your 36th birthday, I want to take a moment to celebrate the incredible person you’ve become. You have grown into a remarkable individual, and I couldn’t be prouder to call you my son. As you embark on another year of your life, I wish you two things that are truly valuable: quality time in Ireland and luck on your projects.

Your journey to Ireland was filled with awe-inspiring sights, breathtaking landscapes, and cherished moments. You explored the rich history and vibrant culture of this enchanting country, creating beautiful memories that will last a lifetime. You marveled at the stunning Cliffs of Moher, or immerse yourself in the mystical beauty of Donegal, may every step you take bring you joy and wonder.

In addition to your adventures in Ireland, I wish you an abundance of luck and success in all your endeavors. May your projects flourish and thrive, bringing you fulfillment, growth, and recognition. May your ideas spark innovation and your hard work reap rewards. Remember that luck often accompanies those who are prepared, dedicated, and passionate. I believe in your talent and determination, and I know that with these qualities, you will achieve great things.

As you blow out the candles on your cake, know that I am here, supporting you every step of the way. Cherish the time you spend in Ireland, embrace the opportunities that come your way, and may this year be a transformative one, filled with joy, love, and fulfillment.

Happy 36th birthday, dear son! Enjoy your journey and embrace the future with open arms.

With all my love,

Dad

Now here is my own birthday message to Brian:

I’ve told you how much I love you many times. I hope you take my wishes to heart. I can’t wait to sit and watch the Brooklyn Cyclones beat the Wilmington Blue Rocks on July 28.

I am very proud of you and wish you the best of birthdays…

Love, Pops

[A photo from my archive. Maybe Brian, maybe not. It really doesn’t make a difference. Photo is mine]