Old Nan: Oh my sweet summer child, what do you know about fear? Fear is for winter, when the snows fall one hundred feet deep. Fear is for the long night, when the sun hides for years and children are born and live and die, all in darkness. That is the time for fear, my little lord, when the white walkers move through the woods. Thousands of years ago there came a night that lasted a generation. Kings froze to death in their castles, same as the shepherds in their huts. And women smothered their babies rather than see them starve, and wept and felt the tears freeze on their cheeks. So is this the sort of story you like?
Sometimes a mistake can turn into a good thing…a lucky break. Sure odd things happen often like the 1969 and 1986 Mets. And why would anyone create mosquitos, gnats or Texas? These are called outliers. Such stuff happens out of the norm.
Then there exists such things as COVID. I can”t explain except to say that the wrong person was leading the country at the time. I’m not going there. It’s too far-fetched to even the most thoughtful people.
But, I digress.
Here in the North Country one sits and waits for The Big One, the storm of the century. But in these days of global warming, nothing is predictable. So older men, like me, wanting to be prepared, go to Lowe’s and buy the first snowblower this man has even known.
Meanwhile, through unseen fate and more odd circumstances he finds that because of restrictions and border issues he discovers a small house in Fort Meyers, Florida. The owner wants out so we jump at something we never contemplated before: we bought, sight unseen.
We were lucky. We paid more for our car than the house.
Someone else can wait for The Big One. For most of the long winter here, you can find me at Sanabel Island looking for The Big Shell.
Anyone interested in an almost new red snowblower (driven twice), you’re almost too late.
It’s long been known that shoveling snow can kill people. Consider the picture below:
[Recipe for disaster.]
When I was a little boy, I’d see an elder (usually a man) struggling with the foot or two of snow on his sidewalk.
I figured the guy had to be really old…in his sixties at least. That was old. It didn’t occur to me to lend a helping hand. “He’s a goner, I thought.”
Then I saw an article in HuffPost by A. Marc Gillinov, MD. He states that the culprit is cardiovascular disease. It seems that cold weather increases ones blood clotting.
He also mentioned back and neck pain. I have both. He claims he hasn’t picked up a shovel since his last back operation. That word from a doctor is good enough for me.
I thought I had it all figured out. I had a brand new (red) snowblower safely sitting in a secure spot under our screened in porch. First I had to determine which language was the correct one from the Manual. Does it really snow that much in Mexico or Spain?
Back to Dr. Gillinov again. He states that fifteen minutes of shoveling by someone who is at low risk for cardiovascular issues, can actually be a benefit from the exercise of shoveling. Fifteen minutes a day will give one a full and adequate workout.
[Nice, but not the Big One]
Coming from a doctor, that was all I needed.
I had a plan. There was a protected space beneath our covered screened in porch. This would be the snowblowers home during raw, dark and frozen winter months.
Next was to figure out how to how to fill the gas tank (have you seen the new design of gas cans?) Then finding the right place for the key (which was big and red, like a Lego.)
Plug the thing in to give it a charge and you’re good to go. I had the whole plan worked out in detail so off I went. I hit the beam holding the porch first. The green tarp, I later realized, was under one of the wheels so I dragged the green cover across the back yard, overturning the wheel barrow in the process.
Once free of all obstructions (No. 1 in the manual), I had to teach myself how to make a left turn. It’s not as easy as the grey haired guy on TV makes it look.
The first left turn had me heading toward the small group of cedar trees. Time to figure out the right turn. When finished, the path looked like a children’s snow tag trail.
At first, I planned to turn the thing around on the front deck. I’s a good thing I thought twice about it. If I had tried such a movement, most of our dining room and all of the deck railing would be scrap wood.
So, meanwhile the gentlemen in their forties are wasting their time standing in a line, ignoring the fall warmth in front of Lowe’s discussing the advantages of my red over their blue model that costs hundreds of extra dollars.
Stick to the red and inexpensive model.
And, definitely learn how to make a left turn.
{Bloggers Note: I wrote this last night. I wake up this morning and find my world has changed. This is how much snow fell while I slept the night away. That’s life in the North Country. Finally The Big One.}
patrickjegan 