Category: satire
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My Approach/Avoidance Problem With Being the Center of Attention
Andy Warhol once made a famous statement about the fact that everyone will get their 15 minutes of fame…sooner or later. But will we really? You may think that every time I post a successful blog, I get my 15 minutes. Well, partly true and partly not. I’ve always thought it would be cool to be…
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Behind the News: Tarzan and Jane Locked in Bitter Custody Battle
Inside sources at the High Court of Nairobi were able to confirm that there has been no resolution either way in the tinder box case of Tarzan v Jane. All that is known at this time is that the battle is raging and lines have been drawn in the sand concerning the custody of the mysterious…
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Waiting For All Hallow’s Eve: XVII [FINAL POST]: “The Pumpkin Hall of Horror”
I can often be found in dark corners of old libraries, pouring over ancient dusty tomes of arcane legends, forgotten lore and collections of 1950’s issues of Popular Mechanics and Playboy. In my researches of things unusual and macabre, I once came upon a large volume of images most horrifying to look upon. To see…
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Popeye, The Sailor, Lost At Sea: Death Confirmed by U. S. Navy Seals
My name is Ned Gladd*. I cover the waterfront. I am a famous journalist and my beat is the high seas. If anything happens on the water, I’m there. You will see my byline at the bottom of this article. But, in over thirty years of covering ocean tragedies, I am anything but glad. It…
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Waving My Way Out Of Purgatory
I’m absolutely convinced that I’m going to Purgatory. I know for certain that I’m going to Purgatory. Even my high school girlfriend told me I was going to Purgatory. “Why am I going there?” I would ask her. “Because.” She would reply. “I saw the way you looked at me just now.” “But I didn’t…
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Cause and Effect: My Front Porch Dilemma
Today, on my front porch, I was faced with a dilemma. I was a witness to an act of nature, an act that is repeated a billion times each minute here in the North Woods. If you factor in the endless variations on this particular situation that occur world-wide, then the number is incalculable. But…
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Passports 13: Getting a Leg Up–An Introduction to the Footpath Stiles of England
Footpaths are as common in England as salt grains on a Big Mac. (I’m not sure that metaphor works here, but I’ve been wanting to use it for decades.) Unlike the States, the lines between private property and the pubic right-of-way are a bit foggy, like the desolate and lonely landscapes of Dartmoor and the…
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Passports 10: A Letter to My Son Regarding Advertising
From: Moorcote House, Moretonhampstead, Devon, England To: Brian, Astoria, Queens, New York My Dear Boy, I hope this post finds you well and in good stead. Has your golf game improved somewhat? I do hope so, because remember the reward I promised last Christmas? In case you have forgotten: if your game improves to within…
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Passports 5: A Blog Worthy Bathroom
I try to post as few pictures of bathrooms as possible. I have high standards for my blog site and even I will not pander to the demands of the general population regarding bathrooms. I do make exceptions, however, when I feel that there is socially redeeming value to a bathroom. Of course, my own…
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The Thing
A few months ago, I stopped at a small country deli for a turkey and swiss cheese sandwich. The store was in Keene Valley, New York. There are fine views of the High Peaks of the Adirondacks from the porch of the deli. I had some brown mustard and low-fat mayo on rye bread. The…
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