Words From A Footpath: The Excursionist X

[Older footpath signs]

It must be my age.  It could be my imagination.  It certainly is something I don’t fully understand.  But, the truth is I think that the English Public Footpaths sometimes call my name.

There is a legend among the Northwest Indigenous People that when you hear an owl call your name…you will soon pass on into the next world (read death).  I think that when I pass a Public Footpath sign, a similar thing happens, except that instead of passing on…I will be walking.

That is one of the charms about Britain.  Public footpaths are literally everywhere.  You can walk across yards, fields, etc…the public have rights here that don’t exist in the USA.

I’ve blogged about such things in the past, but, hey, get a good subject and you can blog it from here to Friday.

[Newer sign posts]

Sometimes I have a guide-book to help me locate interesting routes.  And, at other times, I just wing it and strike off, hoping to find the next marker, hoping to not get off on a wrong path.  But, are any paths really wrong?  Following my instinct I find such places like this:

[On a Dorset walk a few years ago]

Or this:

[A walk in Yorkshire last year]

There are a few rules a walker must obey.  It’s all common sense:

–Keep your dog on a lead

–Close the gates behind you

–Don’t litter

And, to help you through one field to the next, there are a variety of stiles.

[A wooden step stile]

[An old over-the-wall step stile]

[A kissing gate. You can figure it out]

So, what’s the big deal?  Well, for me, this little portion of England is a walker’s paradise.  And sometimes that all I need.

Many times, it’s what I really need.

[All photos are mine. Some have been used in other posts or on Instagram. But, hey, if you follow me you already know that]

Passports 13: Getting a Leg Up–An Introduction to the Footpath Stiles of England

Footpaths are as common in England as salt grains on a Big Mac.  (I’m not sure that metaphor works here, but I’ve been wanting to use it for decades.)  Unlike the States, the lines between private property and the pubic right-of-way are a bit foggy, like the desolate and lonely landscapes of Dartmoor and the Yorkshire Dales.  But, it’s not a free-for-all, by any means.  There are rules.

First, there is the obvious and gentle–always latch the gate you pass through.  That way, the sheep, cows and goats stay where they belong.  However, in Devon, that hypothesis doesn’t apply.  The sheep, ponies and cows are often found in the middle of the roads, causing you to slow down from 20 mph to 4 mph.  (An aside: Boy, are those sheep looking fat!  I wondered if it was the 345 lbs of heather and grass they chew 24/7 or because of all that wool?  I know when I wear my wool trousers, my butt looks fat, so maybe that’s it.

Another rule is to make haste when crossing a field that has been signed: Bull Present In Next Pasture.  When I’m in that situation, I do the only correct thing–I send my wife ahead when she has her bright red Helly Hansen parka on.

If you’re with your dog, King, there is a sign that carries a severe warning: Dogs Found Worrying Sheep Will Be Shot! This is for real and it’s happened.  Nuff said.

Onto the stiles.  Sooner or later, you have to cross from one field to the next.  The cattle gates are often locked so a stile is provided.  This is usually made of wood, but stone stiles are not uncommon.  Their design is simple and functional.

First there is the single-step stile.  [See example shown below]  It’s very simple to navigate.  Just get a leg up and over.  If it’s mossy or wet (it usually is–it never stops raining in England), then take extra care.  Otherwise, you’ll end up in a sordid and fetid mix of mud and cow dung.  That stuff will really do a number on your $400.00 Burbury jacket.  If there’s a rock hidden in the muck and you lose your footing, expect to spend at least two hours in a coma.

 

Image

 

If you have a particularly high gate to cross, there may be a double-step stile.  [See below]  Stone stiles are simply rock versions of the above.  You’ll have to imagine what these look like because I can’t locate the photos in my picture file.  These, again, if slippery, can make an omlette out of your kneecap.

 

Image

But the coolest stile by far, is the famous “Kissing Gate”.  These are designed to allow only the first person to pass through (or rather around) a swinging gate.  The first person, once through, waits for the next person–and before person number 2 can get through, person 1 must kiss them.  This works really, really well if you’re walking with Miss Ohio or the Prom Queen.  But, if you’re with your mother-in-law, brother, father, mother, sister or a blind date from hell, things can get dicey.

Behold, the Kissing Gate!

Kissing Gate

There has been some talk among the modernists who think that these gates are a tad too quaint for the 21st century.  I say: Let them stay.

If, by any misinformed action, the kissing gates are removed, I predict that the birth rate of England will see a significant decline.