Category: satire
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Oxford Of My Dreams
I was drifting off to sleep. My dreams began. I felt disoriented. Where was I? I was in Oxford, England to accept an award for “Best Blogger in the World.” I was waiting in a room in one of the 38 colleges that make up the University. I had walked here from the hotel, but…
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Playing Scrabble On Facebook With Your Daughter: The Agony And The Ecstasy
There is on odious, evil and insistent karma that floats and follows me everywhere. Like gnats on a hot afternoon in the Adirondacks, they follow me about in my own yard to plague my very soul. Gnats (or is it the equally noxious black flies?) that have been known to drive a tundra dwelling musk ox…
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Lone Ranger and Tonto United in California Civil Ceremony
Media representatives, Native American leaders, cultural historians, gay rights activists and many cowboys rejoiced yesterday afternoon when two long-time partners against crime were united in a civil ceremony on a dude ranch outside Oxnard, California. The marriage was held in strict privacy with only several hundred invited guests in attendance. Reporters hiding in the hills…
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Next Stop: Easy Street
“Well, this is where I get off, Baby Blue. I got a cozy little spread about a dozen miles out-of-town.” “This don’t look like no town to me, Buzz. The flies have taken over the ticket booth in the hole you say is the station.” “I’m not a man for big words, Blue, but I…
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The Pink Flamingos of the Pacific Northwest
I asked my daughter, Erin, about her opinion of pink flamingos. “They have their place,” she answered, without taking more than five seconds to think it over. That place was in a front yard, several blocks from her home in Orting, WA. My wife and I were walking back from a brief shopping trip to…
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The Digital Indoor-Outdoor Thermometer From Area 51
It’s common knowledge that various agencies under the umbrella of the “Federal Government” have been conducting TOP SECRET experiments in highly secure location inside an Air Force Base in California (or Nevada or some such forgotten region of the Great American Desert). This place has been known by many “in the know” people as “Area…
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The Great Hiking Pants Problem
If a sweater was hanging in an empty forest, would it still be Cobalt Blue? I ponder these kinds of questions…maybe a little too much. Every time my wife suggests a hike, I can find some kind of excuse. And most of them are real concerns of mine. It’s not that I don’t like to…
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Floccinaucinihilipilification Or Not
On a day last week when the sky took on a strange hue of Cerulean Frost mixed with patches of Brandeis Blue that hung, ever so delicately, over hills of Bulgarian Rose and Caput Mortuum, I happened to be having a chat with my octogenarian friend…a retired oceanographer. “I am full of vicissitudes today,” she…
patrickjegan 