Category: humor
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The Weekend I Took the Moon Rocks Home
Only on rare occasions (once or twice a month) do I check for the black SUV’s in my driveway or parked around the corner on the road where I now live. I hesitate to give the name of the road–I’m not sure it’s in the Big Computer now. We only moved here in December of…
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The Digital Indoor-Outdoor Thermometer From Area 51
It’s common knowledge that various agencies under the umbrella of the “Federal Government” have been conducting TOP SECRET experiments in highly secure location inside an Air Force Base in California (or Nevada or some such forgotten region of the Great American Desert). This place has been known by many “in the know” people as “Area…
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Cooks of the North (A True Story of Survival)
If you’re traveling in the north country fair where the winds hit heavy on the borderline… –Bob Dylan “Girl From The North Country” We who chose to live here in the North Country are a hardy breed. You can see signs of this all around you. The cows have thicker hides, the trees have…
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The Great Hiking Pants Problem
If a sweater was hanging in an empty forest, would it still be Cobalt Blue? I ponder these kinds of questions…maybe a little too much. Every time my wife suggests a hike, I can find some kind of excuse. And most of them are real concerns of mine. It’s not that I don’t like to…
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Floccinaucinihilipilification Or Not
On a day last week when the sky took on a strange hue of Cerulean Frost mixed with patches of Brandeis Blue that hung, ever so delicately, over hills of Bulgarian Rose and Caput Mortuum, I happened to be having a chat with my octogenarian friend…a retired oceanographer. “I am full of vicissitudes today,” she…
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My Approach/Avoidance Problem With Being the Center of Attention
Andy Warhol once made a famous statement about the fact that everyone will get their 15 minutes of fame…sooner or later. But will we really? You may think that every time I post a successful blog, I get my 15 minutes. Well, partly true and partly not. I’ve always thought it would be cool to be…
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Behind the News: Tarzan and Jane Locked in Bitter Custody Battle
Inside sources at the High Court of Nairobi were able to confirm that there has been no resolution either way in the tinder box case of Tarzan v Jane. All that is known at this time is that the battle is raging and lines have been drawn in the sand concerning the custody of the mysterious…
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The Day I Saw My Heart
I am well aware that many people have watched their own brain surgery on a monitor. I know people have watched their own heart being operated on…but I am not one of those people. I understand the whole medical thing about blood vessels and nerve endings. I totally get the concept that there are certain…
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Waiting For All Hallow’s Eve: XVII [FINAL POST]: “The Pumpkin Hall of Horror”
I can often be found in dark corners of old libraries, pouring over ancient dusty tomes of arcane legends, forgotten lore and collections of 1950’s issues of Popular Mechanics and Playboy. In my researches of things unusual and macabre, I once came upon a large volume of images most horrifying to look upon. To see…
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What Am I Doing Down Here?
Hey, you. Yeah, you with the walking stick. You’ve gotta help me man! I don’t have much time, so you have to do something and do it quick. You look like you’ve hiked a few miles in your day…the way you favor your right hip and lean on your wooden staff when you step up…
patrickjegan 