I’m Sorry, Ava, But I’m Having Issues Of My Own

GasGauge

As I write this post, I’m seriously considering going into the r-Pod to get another layer to drape over my shoulders.  The sun has just dipped below the tree-line at the far edge of the RV park.  When we arrived, about two hours ago, I was sweating and hot and in a mood most foul.  Now, it’s cooled enough to make me think about my light fleece hoodie.  It seems my lot in life is to know where my fleece garments are at all time.  I’m in the mid-south, for heaven’s sake, it’s supposed to be warm.  I don’t know.  Maybe I was having a “hot flash” this afternoon?  Men go through menopause just like women.  I’ve had “hot flashes” before, but they occurred in those brief moments when I would walk past a twenty-something female beach volleyball player on the boardwalk of Redondo Beach.

The real purpose of this blog, however, is not to dwell on my body issues.  I need to explain that sometime tomorrow, October 24th, sometime in the early afternoon, sometime after I locate a Starbucks and purchase a Cold Brew coffee, I will drive past Exit 95, on I-95 and not visit the Ava Gardner Museum.  Don’t misunderstand me, I am a huge fan of Miss Gardner.  I may be her biggest fan.  I simply love her iconic film roles that have made her an…icon.  I get shivers when I watch her standing at the doorway, asking Rhett Butler: “Rhett, Rhett…Rhett, if you go, where shall I go?  What shall I do?”  I feel a tingle of seduction when she leans against another doorway and ask Bogey: “You know how to whistle, don’t you?  You just put your lips together and blow.”

But the fee for a couple is $50.00!  Okay, $40.00 for seniors–but we were on a strict budget.

Don’t even mention the shower scene in Psycho.  Don’t even go there.  So, you see, I’m her favorite fan.  But, when you’re on the road and traveling hard like me, you have to keep your eyes on the final destination.  And, tomorrow, that would be Dillon, South Carolina.  We simply did not program into our schedule any actual stops to see stuff.

That’s for tourists.  We’re world-weary travelers.  I won’t say that we’ve seen everything, but we’ve seen pretty much of everything.

Having said all that, I need to tell you about a very disturbing and disorienting occurrence that happened to me after we left our camp site this morning.  We just filled up at the Shell station, ($1.93/gal), when I noticed that the gas gauge did not read FULL.  It registered only 3/4 of a tank.  Now, we weren’t in New Jersey so I pumped my own fuel.  I know I filled the tank–the excess gas even bubbled out of the fuel hole.  But it simply was not FULL.

I was irritated because it would mean another stop before I wanted to make it.

After a few miles, I glanced down at the gauge.  The needle was slowly, very slowly moving toward the FULL!  What was happening?  What did this mean?

It meant only one thing.  We weren’t using fuel while we were driving–we we’re gaining fuel!  We were using negative fuel.  The implications of this astounded me.  If this continued (and I had no reason to think it wouldn’t) then we would   not only not pay for gas, but we would be due some kind of rebate at the end of the trip.

I would come out ahead for once in my sad life.

All I can say is, it’s about time.

On second thought, perhaps we would be able to stop at the Ava Gardner Museum after all.

Marilyn_Monroe_photo_pose_Seven_Year_Itch

[Ave Gardner in the famous “white dress” subway scene from “The Seven-Year Itch”]

 

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5 comments on “I’m Sorry, Ava, But I’m Having Issues Of My Own

  1. Diane Szlucha says:

    Not to worry, Patrick. You will figure out who Ava is and you might even figure out who your favorite actress really is! Enjoy! and if you get money back on this trip let me know how that happens. I need a hint at least!!!

    Like

  2. judy havill says:

    like it!

    Like

  3. Dara Reidyr says:

    You know I grew up only about 45 minutes from Dillon, SC. I’m truly a small town girl.

    Like

  4. Sue says:

    Love it. Ava museum is only about 35 minutes from us, never been there. Guess I need to splurge and visit? Safe travels.

    Like

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