The pain must have been crushing.  What else can make someone do whatever Robin Williams did Monday morning in California?

Let’s consider clowns.  The face of Comedy and Tragedy are on the same coin.  It flips in the air and lands with a smile or a frown.  With Robin Williams, it landed differently at different times.  This time the frown looked him in the eye.

Remember Emmit Kelly?  The saddest face on a clown I ever saw.  He made you laugh even though his act was pure pathos.  Red Skelton? Same.

Many clowns laugh on the outside and are crying on the inside.  It’s a cliche.  I’m no clown, but I’ve had a peek into the abyss twice in my life.  It’s scary as hell.  There may be 2500 $70 ticket holders filling the theater, but when the show is over and you think it will never get better…it will scare the hell out of you.

I’ve seen Robin perform twice on stage in NYC in the last fifteen years.  He was inventive, vulgar, brilliant and always…always so funny that you had to force yourself to stop laughing so you wouldn’t miss the next line.  I would never miss his appearances on David Letterman’s show.

I’m alone tonight with my sadness.  I will miss you, Robin.  You never met me…didn’t even know I existed…but I was your friend.

Rest in Peace, man.